Your dad touched me again.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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