Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
