I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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