I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It's blow job season.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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