I'm really into asian looking animals
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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