I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
