Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
the liver wants what the liver wants
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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