you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
