Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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