Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
