Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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