I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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