Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
