Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
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