So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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