Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
