Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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