I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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