In the future we'll all be gay
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
