found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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