# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
