i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
