I don't think brook has ever known best
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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