and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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