Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
