dude i'm inner monologue high
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
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