there were more penises there than on chat roulette
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
