garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
