You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Little spoons don't ask big questions
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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