he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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