You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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