So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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