I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
