i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
