I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
