you mean i was at the winter classic?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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