so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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