Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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