Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
