what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
