Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i dont even know how to be here
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I have tasted many bathrooms
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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