there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
