I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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