im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
