What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
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For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
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Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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