If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Porn is love you can see.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
