Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize