Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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