I got chris browned last night
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
