I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
