just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
