Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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