We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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