His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
