I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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