can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He did a backflip because drugs
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
