And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
