ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
