so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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