it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
